Single again....

Jo left me a few weeks back, just a week before chinese new year. I can't talk to nobody cos they just won't understand. Can a 3 mths relationship hurts so much? It doesn't matter how long the relationship lasted - it still hurts no matter what. This is a first time that felt how hurtful it is to get dumped when you are in love so much with a person. How can somebody be so cruel and just make a 180 degrees turn in a matter of a few days. Jo was still asking me to make arrangement to watch "Memoirs of a Geisha" two days before he dumped me. What hurt most is the way he ended the relationship :

A short sms - "I hope you are ready for this... I would like to end the relationship. I had a long thought bout this. I did have fun with you but it's all over now. My apologies."

Am i ready to get dumped??? Did he actually think anyone would be ready for it??!!!??! To make things worse, he didn't even have the balls to tell it directly to my face. He switched off his phone directly after that sms was sent. I tried one whole day to call him but it went to his voice message. That was it - I was out of his life there and then - with no reasons given what-so-ever!! Why did he do that? Left me in the cold with more questions and no answers, I didn't even know why i got dumped!

Didn't sleep for two nights after that. Damn tired but just couldn't sleep. Cried my eyes out the first day. Did a lot of thinking in that two days. I didn't call Jo after that. I reckon that even if i were to call, he will not pick up his cellphone knowing it's me. Even if i'm calling elsewhere he may just cut me off if he know it's me. With him doing that, it just shows what kind of a person he is. He's just a gutless jerk who's not matured enough to deal with relationships....

Thinking back, probably I was being too clingy and wanted too much of his time. Maybe not - i mean we don't see each other everyday - mostly weekends. Is that too much to ask for??? I guess my friends are right - maybe it's a blessing in disguise. He's not worthy of me. I deserve someone better than him...

Relationships are so superficial.... especially between gay people like me. It's hard enough being gay - the fact that most gay relationships doesn't last makes me even more sceptical. When will i be ready for a re-bound? Only God knows....